Pictured: Man's natural desire to quest for answers to the unexplainable. Also a big, fat, gay liar.
Whichever it is, there is no denying the hold these programs have on my futile little mind, and try as I might, I can't stop watching them.There are three main offenders:
- Most Haunted: A team of raggedy Brits wander around supposedly haunted locations, listening to suspiciously frequent tapping sounds and running away screaming at the threat of anything interesting, all the while ignoring the advice of the one person who dares say anything approaching sensible.
- Ghost Hunters: Two plumbers and their motley crew of tattooed pals visit locations in America (or anywhere really) in an attempt to explain mysterious happenings. Far more technical than MH, and not afraid to 'debunk' incidents. Also there is not as much screaming.
- Ghost Adventures: The worst person in the world and two people I assume he has bribed into being his friends explore eerie places while being muscley, bearded and supremely irritating. still some of the supposed evidence they find is often fairly intersting.
We'll start with Most Haunted, as it is, apparently, 'the program that started it all™'.
Tapping into the aforementioned need to attempt to explain the unexplainable, MH started way, way back in 2002. The crew, headed by former 'Blue Peter' presenter Yvette fielding, are a likeable bunch, or they would be if they didn't spend so much time screaming and running away.
All the camera men, sound men and other technical folks are present at all times, altough quite why they need their make up artist with them is a mystery bigger than the one they are trying to gather evidence for.
The program is interesting for a number of reasons, firstly it offers an insight to local history and folklore, something which, to me, is asolutely fascinating, and the team treat each case with the reverence and respect it deserves. (Well, mostly. More on that in bit)
Secondly there is occasional evidence which is difficult to explain as natural, or as a hoax. This happens incredibly rarely, and is, for some reason, usually ignored in favour of focusing on the usual aspects of the program; tapping sounds and orbs.
Orbs. Little balls of glowing light. I certainly don't know what they are, but I'm guessing alot of the time they are bits of dust reflecting light.
At one point, after visiting a supposedly haunted house in Devon and listening to the man who showed us around talking about orbs in a room where they found a bricked up skeleton, I became worryingly scared that there were orbs following me.
Orbs in a bricked up room. Ooooorrrrbbbbbbzzzzz!
Orbs in a local tea room later that evening. Ooooorrrbbbbzzzz!
Orbs in a local tea room later that evening. Ooooorrrbbbbzzzz!So, sitting alone in strange room I freaked out a little. However then I realised that I was a total fucking clown. I mean, really? if the dead wanted to manifest themselves unto us would they do it by becoming tiny little balls of nothing? I sincerely doubt it.
"Hey you guys!"
So, yeah, cynicism when it comes to orbs, but that cynicism dissapates into nothingness when it come to the cynacism I have for Most Haunted's main selling point.
"MEDIUMS"
Yes, mediums, those who practice mediumship. Those who communicate with the dead. You are aware of at least one of these people, and here he is, getting things right, as usual.
This happened in Blackpool.
Yes, mediums, those who practice mediumship. Those who communicate with the dead. You are aware of at least one of these people, and here he is, getting things right, as usual.
This happened in Blackpool.
Derek Acorah. he is either the world's funniest man, the world's most deluded man, or a total fucking candle. Maybe all three.
See him get possessed. Usually by the spirit of someone who fucking hates Yvette Fielding. Or an old woman. (His old woman voice is a treat)
The thing is, he has been caught out lying about his gift before.
"The ghost fish I caught was this big!"
See him get possessed. Usually by the spirit of someone who fucking hates Yvette Fielding. Or an old woman. (His old woman voice is a treat)
The thing is, he has been caught out lying about his gift before.
"The ghost fish I caught was this big!"It doesn't do the program any favours, and they have employed increasingly fewer erratic mentalists as the seasons have gone on, obviously wishing to control the damage done by this buffoon. They still use mediums though, one of whom does the horoscopes in The Sun. I'll leave you to work out how I feel about that.
One last point about MH: The best thing about it is Demonologist Fred Batt. Go Fred!
Next up is Ghost Hunters. A far superior piece of programming, and made with an understated passion that MH could only long for (while talking to the dead through a small, deceased African boy).
The 'hosts' (For want of a better word), Jay and Grant are likable plumbers who run The Atlantic Paranormal Society on the side. Their team is varied, intelligent and fun and there isn't a make up artist in sight.
Where Most Haunted rely on hyperbole to make the show interesting GH take a more measured approach, and there are entire shows where nothing is found at all. Things that have been explained as paranormal previously have been explored and debunked, and the emphasis is often on helping scared residents deal with what they are experiencing.
One last point about MH: The best thing about it is Demonologist Fred Batt. Go Fred!
Next up is Ghost Hunters. A far superior piece of programming, and made with an understated passion that MH could only long for (while talking to the dead through a small, deceased African boy).
The 'hosts' (For want of a better word), Jay and Grant are likable plumbers who run The Atlantic Paranormal Society on the side. Their team is varied, intelligent and fun and there isn't a make up artist in sight.
Where Most Haunted rely on hyperbole to make the show interesting GH take a more measured approach, and there are entire shows where nothing is found at all. Things that have been explained as paranormal previously have been explored and debunked, and the emphasis is often on helping scared residents deal with what they are experiencing.
The greatest plumbers since Mario and Luigi.
The approach taken here is a lot more scientific than those found in other programs. cameras are set up extensively, voice rcorders and the like are used constantly, and this leads to far more interesting evidence than in other shows
When evidence is found, it is checked thoroughly and thrown out if it's not felt it is conclusive, any tales or urban legends encountered are researched deeply and brought back to the person who has instigated the investigation, and finally anything that can't be explained is shown and we are rarely told that is a haunting, more that it is evidence of something that is unexplainable.
The approach taken here is a lot more scientific than those found in other programs. cameras are set up extensively, voice rcorders and the like are used constantly, and this leads to far more interesting evidence than in other shows
When evidence is found, it is checked thoroughly and thrown out if it's not felt it is conclusive, any tales or urban legends encountered are researched deeply and brought back to the person who has instigated the investigation, and finally anything that can't be explained is shown and we are rarely told that is a haunting, more that it is evidence of something that is unexplainable.
"It's unexplainable!"
"No, it's just Jimmy, being a dick"
Ghost Hunters is easily the best of the lot, it provides chills, thrills, spills, and other things ending in 'ills'. It also has a sense of humour, which seems to be missing from other programs of the ilk.
Finally it's Ghost Adventures. Which is a terrible, terrible title. I don't have much to say on it, as when I watch it I cannot get past the guy presenting it. He is horrible.
"No, it's just Jimmy, being a dick"
Ghost Hunters is easily the best of the lot, it provides chills, thrills, spills, and other things ending in 'ills'. It also has a sense of humour, which seems to be missing from other programs of the ilk.
Hoorah for ghost hunting plumbers!
Finally it's Ghost Adventures. Which is a terrible, terrible title. I don't have much to say on it, as when I watch it I cannot get past the guy presenting it. He is horrible.
No it isn't, everyone thinks you are a berk.
He is such a typically obnoxious American that anything that happens is overshadowed by his dumb antics. Constantly yelling and wearing really stupid trousers, this is less about ghosts than it is about an excercise in not throwing your TV out of the window.
I've only watched a few episodes of this because my girlfriend becomes so irate at that blokes behaviour that I fear for my life.
However from what I gather plenty of time is spent listening to crackly recordings of things that might be voices from beyond and even more is spent letting us know just how brave and fearless these mongoloids are. Therefore this program loses.
maybe I'm an idiot for watching these programs, perhaps they are all set up and I'm a total mug. Maybe everything that happens is real (it isn't), I just don't know. And I dont care. All I know is that there is a certain thrill to be had watching people in the dark being scared. Kind of like when I hide in deserted alleyways late at night and giggle menacingly at lone passers by. But not as intense. Or cold.
In conclusion:
I've only watched a few episodes of this because my girlfriend becomes so irate at that blokes behaviour that I fear for my life.
However from what I gather plenty of time is spent listening to crackly recordings of things that might be voices from beyond and even more is spent letting us know just how brave and fearless these mongoloids are. Therefore this program loses.
maybe I'm an idiot for watching these programs, perhaps they are all set up and I'm a total mug. Maybe everything that happens is real (it isn't), I just don't know. And I dont care. All I know is that there is a certain thrill to be had watching people in the dark being scared. Kind of like when I hide in deserted alleyways late at night and giggle menacingly at lone passers by. But not as intense. Or cold.
In conclusion:
